My heartfelt story

a reflection on Mother's Day in America-어머니날을 보내면서

rejungna 2009. 5. 14. 01:17

Last Sunday, May 13, was Mothers Day in America, which is a very special day for all women who have raised children.

Most of us hold a soft, cushiony spot in our hearts for our mothers whenever we think of them, whether we are residing

close or far away.  With the vivid images of our own mothers, we instantly yearn for their touch and feel of their physical warmth

and care as well as their unchanging motherly love

 

 

Like millions of other women in America, I had a happy and satisfied Mothers Day.

To my delight, my son sent me a pretty, gold colored box full of different flavors of chocolate and successfully conveyed his sweet appreciation to me.

 

My daughter bought me lunch at a restaurant that serves fusion styled foods at high prices. Her choice was well suited to my liking and was appropriate to show me my value as her mother.

 

 

At first glance, I noticed that the restaurants ambience and employees were ready to meet the celebrating crowd

to take advantage of the special occasion. For me, the instant I looked around and stepped on the stairs leading inside had

enough delightful effect on making myself ready to enjoy the lunch and being there.

 

 

My stomach twisting from excitement, I jumped in right away to take pleasure in keenly observing and tasting the served foods.

The food looked inviting and fabulous with bright colors and pretty appearances and also tasted very good. While I was relishing

the foods one by one, a big swath of satisfaction and appreciation engulfed me with a bitter-sweet fulfillment after finishing

a very difficult, long project. I cant help to ponder that my daughter already finished her education, chose a passionate career,

and is now treating me to a Mothers Day special lunch with her own salary!  That very thought instantly made me feel relieved,

 bubbly with happiness, jumpy with delight, and loud with emotion. I felt so great and thankful!!!

 

 

Looking back on the days of raising Augustine and Gina, I had struggled without knowing the best way to be

a good caregiver as well as a nurturing mother. Mom should be understanding, encouraging, empathetically supporting, and

guiding her children no matter what obstacles showed up on the horizon. I took everything as a serious responsibility rather than

a pleasure;I regarded the mothering as a solemn, long project than a pleasant gift. I was much too occupied with not to failing

my children, emotionally trying to assess and evaluate them, putting pressure on success, and being inflexible to discipline.

Despite my many shortcomings and mistakes, my children embraced and followed my demands, orders and principles.

Of course, sometimes, they could be receptive and understanding only after going through turmoil. Besides, once in a while,

they shattered our fragile peace, and evoked pain and agony. In short, we have suffered together from blurred and broken vision;

we together rejoiced our progresses and achievements. Most of all, hand in hand, we celebrated so many birthdays, holidays,

and graduation with the big fanfares. 

 

When Augustine and Gina were babies, they were a whole piece of my heart itself;

when they were little children, they were a part of me that I took everywhere; when they were tough teenagers, they were my tears and joy; when they finally became grown-ups, they seemed to be turned into my lifelong partners checking and balancing on

my tightly built-in stubborn territory.

 

I think I can now proclaim that thanks to being a mother, I have turned out a better

person with the resilience, brazenness, and acceptance. I have also learned

to open my ears and eyes to the surroundings and people standing

on the passage of my destiny. Now I understand that being a mother needs

the most unbending patience as well as the most bending flexibility.  Any parent goes through similar phases of rituals,

regardless of what kind of person their child is. 

 

Lucky for me, my kids are bright, smart, warm, and very loyal.  Despite sometimes having been rebellious, speaking harshly,

hiding, and lying, they turn out to be warm and open. Now, as the adults within one family, we forgive and forget

our past entire struggles and endeavors. Surely, time is the best medicine in leading to the healing of old wounds,

erasing dark shadows, and being sorry for our shallow behaviors and words.

  

 

 

While chewing and savoring the delicious dishes in utmost pleasure, a familiar face crept slowly into my mind and stayed.

It was my mothers face living in Korea. Momentarily I wished she would be there next to me and enjoy her granddaughters gift together. Candidly, she is not an easy woman to be with and a little different from the typical doting mother. But, it is my fate and blessing that my intractable mother outlives my sweet and dearest father; now she is the only parent figure

among my parents and parents-in-laws.

 

Since my fathers death, she listened to all other people seemingly valuable advises about the relationship between money and children. To her chagrin, when time passed by, the reality did not happened as she expected. Gradually, she has been

in need of recalibrating or correcting her perspective towards her children. Naturally, she cant be changed suddenly;

she easily cant welcome the different values. However, the most valuable change of her heart is her saying that she loves me

every time when I call on her. Without hesitation, she is keeping on repeating that phrase. Yes! She did her share of duty for me

and my brothers--raised us, got us married, and supported us on numerous occasions.

 

I know it is my turn to return her as her daughter, regardless of her weakness in communication. More and more,

I resolve gladly that I will keep her final days at her bedside when that day arrives. My only concerns are that I have two

beautiful children and an unpredictable, lonely mother, who both claim my attention and love and eagerly return me theirs.

 

In many aspects, I am a happy and blessed woman, who could give and take anything throwing upon me from above and beneath.

I think this could be a worthy Mothers Day reflection. ^^*