My Father, Man of Principles(2)-나의 아버지(2)

두번째의 글을 블로그에 옮기면서

사진첩 속의 옛모습을 찍고 정돈하는 중에 꽂혀버린 아버지의 인간적인 고독과 허한 목소리가 나를 떠나지 않는다.

 

인내심과 희생적 마음이 너무 강하셨던 아버지께 묻습니다.

지상에 머무르실 때에 지치거나 막막할 때는 누군가에게 기대고 싶으셨었지요?

그런데도 언제나 혼자서 삼키면서 우리에게 주기만 하셨어요. 육신이 다 닳아서 정신을 더 이상 지탱하지 못할 때까지요.

지금의 아버지의 영혼은 하늘에서 주님의 위로를 흠뻑 받고 계신가요?

 

My Father, Man of Principles(2)

 

One year after the loss of his mother, the Korean War(육이오) broke out in 1950. The South Korean army needed a new pool

of young men to fight against North Korea: It enlisted teen-aged boys over 18 years old officially, but, in fact, any young men

walking on the street were taken forcefully to the training camp to fight. Depending on which side of Korea found and hauled

him to the battlefield, he could fight either for North Korea or South Korea. Fearful of uncertain prospect, my father, Kim Jaehwan, 

a high school student at legal age of 17, only during night time walked a long distance to his sister’s house

in another rural area and hid there for about three months.

 

But the war dragged on, and he could not hide longer while just abiding his time, mainly because of the shortage of food

in his sister’s home, his feeling of burden, and the frightening image of being detected and its consequence to her sister's

family. After pondering, he decided to enlist himself voluntarily as a South Korean officer rather than being a private.

With the increase of his age to his real age of 18 and taking a minimal test in Korean language and math, he was put into

the combat zone right after 3 months’ nominal unregulated training: how to shoot, lead soldiers, crawl and

recognize the differences between two Korean armies.

 

 

 

As a platoon leader(소위), he became not only a historical witness of the fierce battle for 3 years and also one of handful of

surviving, lucky platoon leaders-the most dangerous badge of rank in the combat zone. At the moment when he was first put into

the battlefield, the South Korean army started to gain an upper hand over North Korea after it lost the control of more than

two-thirds of the land of South Korea, since the U. N. forces intervened and fought for us. When the North Korean army

retreated back to the northern part of the country, he could not help but to witness that they indiscriminately killed all the civilians

in hiding, if they were detected, and plundered or smashed up or burnt anything, which their eyes laid on. Even some of platoon leaders and solders in South side stole or simply took jewelry, food, money, and other valuables from fallen soldiers and citizens

for the sake of after-war time wealth.

 

(My father's name is one of these carved names on this war memorial tower that was built for the unknown, fallen

heroes sacrificed their lives for the liberty and freedom of the South Korea.)

 

But my father believed that only honesty, truth, and faithfulness would help protect his life from anybody’s bullets.

With caring for subordinates, controlling his unit tightly, strict ruling against runaways, and bravery in combat, he earned

respect and a good name. on the war front, he wanted to be a force of soldiers’ moving forward when the “attack” order

was given by the commander, because he desperately longed to survive the war and meet his sister and brother again.

However, until the end of the war, he did not know of his sister's death in 1951, at her age of 21.

 

He loved to recall to me as well as my friends so many nerve-racking war stories and his personal experiences that

I forgot or didn't give much attention, but I do now wish to remember more; throughout his life, he remained as one of 

staunchest critic of the communism and the North Korea's founding leader, Kim IL-Sung. He used to compare him with

the persons that he gave the worst credit to or regarded as the unpardonable criminals.

In addition, he had an enormous thirst for learning. When he, by chance, found one thin, military strategy book(전술교본)

in English in a barrack after his unit was patrolled by a high-ranking American officer, he read and learned all contents

by heart to learn English.

           

After truce of war in 1953, he was still in the army and earned an once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to participate in

the study abroad program(유학) in America for one year. To pass that test, he studied very hard day and night sitting on a toilet

in the bathroom with a flashlight, because the army light had to be turned off at night at a certain time. In 1954, he was

honorably selected with the second highest score among hundreds test takers, stepped on a huge military ship for three

months to cross the seemingly endless Pacific Ocean, and arrived finally at the Georgia Institute of Technology in Atlanta.

During his staying in America, he grew to love America and made many cherished memories. To him, America was such a beautiful country, as exactly as its meaning in Korean. After he passed away, I searched for his photos of that time out of about 20 albums, since I wanted to hold relics from one of most proud moments of his life, and seeing his young, confident, and

familiar face made me feel so good.

 

 

After returning to Korea from America, he served as a provost officer while teaching science at military policemen academy,

was soon promoted to the captain and, got married, and enrolled at a University with majoring the law.

 

For a while, everything seemed to sail smoothly, but he created a sensational incident in the army: he protested against

a corrupt general, who secretly kept on ordering his subordinates to steal oil for military cars and hundreds of bags of rice

for hungry soldiers, and sold them for personal profit. According to his testimony, floods of free supporting materials

from abroad since the end of war resulted in collusion between many corrupt high-ranking officers in the army and

government to make huge, illegal profits. He could not stand that kind of grand theft and then reported the embezzlement

to a newspaper company. He really made a big public disturbance splashing on a newspaper. In the end, he had to be

discharged(제대) with disgrace not to stand on the military court with the guilt of disobedience and dishonoring the army. 

 

 

(a family outing to Kyungbok Palace(경복궁) at my age of seven)

 

A year before his becoming a private citizen, he lost his father aged 52. Since then, he seemed to be disconnected

with his childhood family except for his own younger brother and a step-brother borne by his father’s third wife.

Nevertheless, he always missed his mother so much. one time I asked him why he missed her so much.

He ruefully answered because she was, is, and will be the person most heartily congratulating on his success and luck.

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